Do We Have More Sex on Vacation?

Summer is the star season. It only lasts three months, but we place all our expectations on it. We not only expect to have more sex but also aim to read the books we haven’t touched throughout the year, visit many museums, and meet new people. We anticipate our lives changing by the magic of the June solstice.

Above all— we’re sure—we’ll have more sex. A lot more. No schedules, relaxed routines. What could go wrong?

Cinthya Molina, clinical psychologist at SHA, neither confirms nor denies this expectation. She says it all depends on people’s routines and lifestyle. “In summer, everyone is happy, people go out more, they’re uninhibited. So, if you’re single, you’ll probably have a great time, as there are more social interactions, which often lead to more intimate and sexual relationships,” she explains.

During vacations, there is usually a greater willingness for sexual encounters because there’s more free time and routines are broken, which is a common reason people seek help when they lack sex, due to the reduction of romantic and desire-filled moments. As stress and obligations decrease and free time increases, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphin levels rise, which enhances libido and pleasure.

However, if a couple is already in crisis and doesn’t have a good bond, everything could blow up in the summer. “There are couples who live stressful lives and stay together because of the kids or family finances; when summer arrives, they have to spend more time together, and everything sparks because you’re with someone you barely know and can’t stand. It’s a team that functions solely for the family business,” Cinthya explains. In these cases, summer not only won’t bring more sex, but it could even trigger a breakup.

“On the other hand, couples with a strong bond, who lead busy lives and don’t have time to connect, thrive in summer. Everything rekindles, and by the end of the vacation, they’re asking, ‘Well, why don’t we do this more often?’” says the SHA psychologist.

However, other factors can interfere with a couple’s sex life during summer. For example, traveling to distant places, making exhausting plans, or simply staying in places with little privacy.

Sometimes, summer is when we realize that sex with our partner no longer interests us. If, instead of seeking intimate moments, we avoid them, it’s likely a sign that something is wrong. This is one of the reasons that explain why breakups often spike after the summer.

And if we genuinely want to boost our sexuality during vacations, we shouldn’t leave it to chance but rather plan vacations aligned with that goal. Some psychologists even recommend scheduling sexual dates. Summer on its own usually doesn’t fix relationship problems.

The high expectations we place on summer can also lead to frustration. “Expectations are based on comparisons. If you want to have Chiara Ferragni’s summer, you’re going to get frustrated. Or if you expect a romantic trip and hope to be moved watching the sunset with your husband of 30 years, well, you’re probably going to get frustrated too,” says Cinthya, who believes that social media promotes unrealistic images and expectations.

“They say the secret to happiness is low expectations and a short memory,” reflects the SHA psychologist.

Expectations around the sex we want to have are also often based on comparisons that don’t align with reality. “If you want to have the sex your friend says she has—a multi-orgasmic goddess who squirts—well, that’s all a lie,” Cinthya explains, adding that women frequently seek help because they don’t have vaginal orgasms through penetration. “Oh, like 90% of the women in the world,” I tell them, and they reply, ‘But my friends all have them,’ and I say, ‘Ma’am, all your friends are lying,’” Cinthya recounts.

Summer is a magical season, but not magical enough to fix what hasn’t worked throughout the year. What’s important is fostering bonds, relationships, and communication with your partner, no matter the season. Summer can be just another opportunity to reconnect, enjoy, and experiment, as long as expectations are realistic and the focus is on strengthening relationships beyond what seasons or social media may dictate.